Criminals vow to leave Britain if John McDonnell is made Home Secretary

A LEAKED top-level Labour plan to switch John McDonnell from shadow chancellor to shadow home secretary has kick-started an exodus of criminals from Britain.
The leak has come from high up in the party and is believed to reveal a key weapon in Jeremy Corbyn’s general election arsenal.
The top-secret document shows Labour are aware of Mr McDonnell’s popularity deficit, compared with Mr Corbyn, and want to replace him at the forefront of voters’ minds with youthful shadow business secretary Chuka Umunna.
With Mr Umunna as shadow chancellor, and Mr McDonnell lined up to crack down on criminals as shadow home secretary, the Tories will be wiped out at the next general election, according to poll strategists.
Now top figures in the underworld are warning that: “All bets are off if that marxist **** McDonnell is put in charge of police and prisons. Pardon our French.”
One top London gangster, who agreed to talk to the Daily Goggle anonymously, said: “That Willie Whitelaw was a proper Home Secretary, a real gent. His short, sharp shock made me into the super criminal I am. Fit and ruthless.
“But that marxist **** McDonnell is going to turn Her Majesty’s prisons into a socialist nightmare. Pardon my French. That’s it for me. I’m off to Moscow with my associates. Proper murderous criminals are valued and treated with respect over there.”
Reformed jailbird Charles “the Gasman” Gascoigne said: “What you people don’t understand is us villains are Conservatives. We don’t want to change the world, we just want to change our position in it. And we do that by being horrible *****, like what the toffs are.
“Vicious types like me hate socialist ***** like John McDonnell. Pardon my French. They spoil all the fun. Good luck, Britain. If Corbyn’s lot get in it’ll be like the Gulag Archie Pedalo.”