Man expelled from Islington for mispronouncing cognoscenti

A MAN has been expelled from an ultra-hip London borough for pronouncing the  g in cognoscenti on a first date.
He had been dining in the right-on enclave of Islington when he dropped the clanger late last night.
The man’s female companion said: “He’d already raised eyebrows by saying TAG-liatelle but moments later he pulled his COG-noscenti and the Swat team burst in.” She added: “It was a relief.” The man was frogmarched to the border and released into Hackney. Which is coming up, it has to be said.
He commented later: “I was looking forward to some Black Forest Gattux for afters when these geezers came in and grabbed me. You were a bit heavy and they kept shouting in my face, ‘Dipthong, dipthong, dipthong.'”
When asked if he would be returning to Islington he replied: “Bolleaux to that.”

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