New Tory manifesto showcases policy to build a better Britain for EVERTON

THE relaunched Conservative Party manifesto is headed by a pledge to build “a better Britain for EVERTON”.
It is a surprise move that is widely seen as the Tories’ latest attempt to modernise and relate to youth and ordinary people.
The eye-catching slogan is the brainchild of the party’s new communications chief Tristram Dada, who commissioned top ad agency Sometimes I Wonder for the project.
Mr Dada said: “We wanted to keep the momentum going after the success of the party conference. The way the letters fell from the backdrop during the leader’s speech was like cool-a-mundoolio.
“We needed to take that yeah-now forward so we got Sometimes I Wonder on board with the brief of robustifying the randomisation.”
The agency’s creative director Jason Smuerck said: “We renotionalised our fuzzy felt boards and threw letters at them. Some stuck and some fell. Then what we had left was like wow. Mega-mega boom-boom.”
The Daily Goggle asked the secretary of Everton FC Supporters’ Club, Bucephalus “Eggsy” Eggars, what he thought of the new Conservative Party slogan.
He commented: “Well, yeah, anything that might help would be welcome, really, what with the season we’ve been having. Bring back fox hunting, secondary modern schools and Dixie Dean. Great, yeah.”