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Donald Trump and Theresa May

Donald Trump blasts Nasser Hussain as worst England cricket captain

DONALD Trump has added to the controversy over his official visit to Britain by lambasting former England cricket captain Nasser Hussain. In a series of tweets...
Hunter and Michael Gove

Earners below £15,500 are sentient, say Conservatives

BRITAIN'S Conservative Party has confirmed its belief that people who earn under £15,500 per year are sentient. The Tories have been accused of saying that...
Amazon package

Amazon delivery man will try on your smalls in your bedroom

ONLINE mail order giants Amazon have launched a new service in which a delivery man will go into your bedroom and explore your underwear...
Mugabe, Johnson and Zimbabwe flag

Zimbabwe Britons flee homes after Boris Johnson advises them to stay in

THE 20,000-plus British citizens living in crisis-hit Zimbabwe burst out of their front doors in response to Boris Johnson advising them it was safer...
Brexit on Ice

Brexit on Ice unveiled as flagship of BBC Christmas TV line-up

THE BBC has unveiled the jewel in the crown of its Christmas schedule – Brexit on Ice. The all-skating, all-singing, all-dancing spectacular will be based...
Bounty on Donald Trump's head

Bounty on Donald Trump’s head

The White House was engulfed in a fresh crisis last night after a picture emerged of a Bounty bar on Donald Trump’s head. The President...
Kerry Katona and Vita Sackville-West

Kerry Katona to edit the letters of Vita Sackville-West

KERRY Katona has landed a big-money deal to edit the love letters of the late Vita Sackville-West. The former Atomic Kitten singer’s new agent Valerie...
Prison and Labour's John McDonnell

Criminals vow to leave Britain if John McDonnell is made Home Secretary

A LEAKED top-level Labour plan to switch John McDonnell from shadow chancellor to shadow home secretary has kick-started an exodus of criminals from Britain. The...
Big Ben cuckoo clock

Big Ben to become huge cuckoo clock in refit of Parliament

THE tower of Big Ben is to be equipped with a giant cuckoo clock mechanism, it was announced last night. The project has been masterminded...
Trump naked statue

Donald Trump censors Bob Dylan over “stand naked” claim

DONALD Trump has banned a Bob Dylan song because it contains the line “even the President of the United States sometimes must have to...